Is there a single soul amongst us who does not strive for love? And yet where on earth did we get the idea love was something we had to strive for?
We’re told it’s readily available. That God loves us. That Jesus loves us. That “love is all there is.” So why do so many of us still feel deficient in the love department?
Maybe it’s because we come into this world in such a harsh manner? Maybe we don’t get enough love and affection from our mother or father—who didn’t get enough love and affection from their parents and so on?
Maybe it’s because we don’t get enough nourishment? Maybe the store-bought formulas filled with artificial preservatives, bleached flour and sugar failed to satisfy?
Maybe it’s the school system? The boredom? The competition? The comparisons? The ranking? Maybe it’s society and how it’s structured? Or disinteresting work? Or maybe the constant violent media messaging or …?
How can God or Jesus—vague, abstract Beings somewhere “out there” somewhere—compete with all that? And yet love really is readily available to all of us all the time. We just don’t easily recognize the source.
I recently went through a rebirthing process. I didn’t mean to. It just kind of showed up on the radar as I was working with a wonderful woman from Santa Fe who teaches something called the Rainbow Light Activation process—also something I wouldn’t ordinarily engage having long ago had it “up to here” with the vast majority of pablum-like New Age spiritual offerings. But I was deeply drawn to this woman’s work and one thing led to another and then suddenly there I was, on a ZOOM call to New Mexico, bawling my eyes out over some seriously bad birth trauma that went down over 70 years ago, plus a resulting 30-day stay in an incubator my first month on Earth, isolated, untouched, unloved, feeling abandoned and scared with no source of comfort in sight.
Coached to travel back through time to provide Infant Cate the love and comfort that was absent then and for a long time afterward, a truly remarkable integration took place. I’ve always kind of poo-poo-ed talk of “soul parts” and fragmentation and that sort of thing—and I’ll never poo-poo it again. A very deep part of myself was dying from lack of love and affection, and the only possible source of my own salvation was me.
As I wept my way through the process of tending my infant self, feeling her come to life, feeling her open in trust and longing, feeling my own soul receive the love I am—the love we all are—a huge shift took place. You know how there’s sometimes a dull “snap” and a feeling of rightness when two puzzle pieces fit back together? It was kind of like that—except on a much larger more cosmic scale. Rather like a Mobius strip—or the infinity symbol or the Ouroboros—an infinite loop had been established: Love feeding love. Love breathing love into the existence called life. A reconnecting with the infinite circle that has no beginning and no end.
Today, seventy years after my birth, I finally know where love comes from and I can drink endlessly and uninhibitedly from its source. What a blessing to finally show up as the care-taker of my own garden!
So, the next time you feel empty and scared. The next time you find yourself looking for love (in all the wrong places) take a moment to remember this: The love you feel is the love you give yourself by the very act of feeling it.
Close your eyes and direct that feeling more deeply inwards. Maybe put your arms around yourself and gently rock for a few minutes. Feel how precious you are. Feel all the love you have to give and claim it for yourself.
Soak it up. Revel in the endless bounty of love’s source: YOU