Here lies the entire problem with the self-help movement and most spiritual efforts. Who is the “I” practicing mindfulness and loving kindness? The ego. The illusory concept of the personal self we all carry in our heads.
Who I really am—the divine Self—is love and has no need for mindfulness because there is nothing to be mindful of when I am the truth of oneness.
Cate can practice mindfulness and loving kindness all day long, but at the end of the day she is still Cate. Loving kindness cannot be sustained for long due to the separated nature of the personal self which knows nothing of actual love. Something inevitably comes along and pisses the ego off, yanking me back into my ego nature, which is divisive, relatively petty and frequently scared. But now, because of my failure to sustain loving kindness, I ego add disappointment and self-judgment to the hellbroth I drink on an ongoing basis.
Please. Forget practicing anything as the ego. Take time out. Be quiet. Dive deep. Know your True Self and you discover love already is who you are.