Lions and tigers and chemtrails … oh my

So I was on a radio show the other day, talking about (what else?) The E Word, the ego, evolution, and enlightenment.

Thankfully I never get tired of sharing this information with people. It’s new every time. Plus every show host brings her or his unique perspective and questions to the material and I never know exactly how the conversation will roll. That said, most interviews run within the normal boundaries of psychology, spirituality, the evolution of consciousness and the myth of enlightenment. (I say “myth” because the way enlightenment is explained by most New Age spiritual people is truly a fable!)

But not this time around.

About ten minutes into the show my host casually mentioned “the Ascension,” confidently announcing how all the less evolved people on the planet were going to meet their own negative, fear-based Armageddon while the rest of us more evolved souls—apparently about 20 percent of the planet’s population—were going to be whisked away to our well-deserved, better-intentioned Nirvana.

Not knowing what to say, I stammered something about “everybody being subject to evolution and growing up someday” and talked on … until somehow chemtrails came into the conversation.

Chemtrails? What did that have to do with learning about the ego?

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m no virgin when it comes to conspiracy theories. I had a thorough go at them about 25 years ago. Does it make sense there’s an elitist cabal running the world? Of course it does. Is it possible there are many damaging tools of destruction being foisted upon an unsuspecting public? Of course. But we don’t have to get into conspiracy theories to explain these things. Human greed based in erroneous ego perceptions is explanation enough for the self-serving machinations of the 1% of this world.

Not wanting to be dismissive, incredulous, condescending or confrontational, I ignored the chemtrail reference. Thankfully, as I desperately cast about for a logical segue, my host pitched to a commercial break.

Music filled my headset as my host and the station engineer talked shop while I wondered what to do about these detours, delivered on-air in matter-of-fact tones as if anybody who was anybody knew these things were absolutely, totally, unquestionably, real. Which, I realized, the listening audience my host had accumulated through the years running this show did.

Did I want to be confrontational and piss off the whole audience? Of course not. Besides, having been raised in a highly dysfunctional, alcoholic family, my ego isn’t wired for conflict. It’s wired for pacification and danger dodging.

Did I want to prove my host wrong? No. For all I knew my host wasn’t wrong. There have certainly been stranger things happen on Earth than chemtrails. An infinite universe of infinite possibilities leaves room for pretty much anything … even shape-shifting lizards under the thrall of an invisible Brotherhood posing as heads of state.

Getting into a pissing contest over “proof” was equally unproductive. So when my host came back after the break I simply soldiered on as if none of these side roads had showed up.

It wasn’t until after the show was over that I realized a productive direction I could have taken.

Conspiracy theories make great movie fodder. Stories about an Ascension that will separate the negative from the positive and rescue the higher-minded of us from the terrifying consequences of a larger population acting out of ignorant, fear-based thinking is more … ignorant, fear-based thinking.

All this stuff—from chemtrails to Area 51 to the Ascension and the Lord Matreya and the wizard pulling strings behind the curtain in the City of Oz—is just stories in people’s heads. EVERYTHING is just a story in people’s heads. Even “I” am a story in “my” own head. None of it is real in the sense that it’s the “ultimate truth.” It’s all just part of the Thought Matrix spinning worlds upon worlds into motion—wheels within wheels—sucking us down into rabbit holes of belief where we get all stirred up and excited and afraid and pedantic and doubtful and desperate and ecstatic and all the rest of it. … dodging the one thing that could actually bring us peace and fulfillment:


We’d rather dream of alien intervention … we’d rather call upon the Great White Brotherhood (talk about racial sexual profiling!) … we’d rather pray to The Almighty to rescue our insecure asses … we’d rather create Armageddon than pony up and face our egos and all the illusions it spins.

Lions and tigers and bears … oh my.

Anybody for popcorn?

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