Some days it’s hard to get out of bed let alone get it up to be excited and positive at work … or even vaguely pleasant.Job performance is like sexual performance in more ways than one. When you’re hot your hot and when you’re not you’re not. Satisfying work and satisfying sex–hell, a satisfying LIFE–require PASSION. And the more the passion the greater the satisfaction.
There are a number of physical reasons for general lack of passion. Lack of exercise and poor circulatory strength is a common culprit behind brain-dead moments during the day as well as bedroom blues at night.
Fatigue from chronic stress depresses our overall attitudes and interest in life and love.
Alcohol–which many of us turn to when we’re under stress–suppresses glutamate production in the brain and increases production of GABA which slows us down.
Many medications cause mental, emotional and physical depression. And Vitamin D and magnesium deficiencies can cause melancholia, sleep disorders and hormone imbalances that pull us into a fog.
“So you’re saying exercise, drinking less, talking to my doctor about my meds and taking vitamin D and magnesium is gonna fix my life?”
Well … it sure can’t hurt. It probably will help. But my real point here is: THIS is what most of us do. We look for simple, manageable, physical things to make our lives better.
But here’s the deal: if you can’t get it up for your life anymore you need DEEP CHANGE … not a pill.
What to do?
#1 Be Honest With Yourself
If “passion” and determination aren’t the right words to describe a kid building a starship out of Legos or learning to navigate their first float board I don’t know what are. Passion is an inalienable human right. We’re born with it.
It takes years–even decades–but eventually we’re educated out of it. Social programming, duty, necessity, bills, habit … it all adds up until one day we find ourselves unconsciously exchanging passion for an extra five points on our credit score.
And we wonder why life sucks?
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Life is freaking awesome. If you don’t think so anymore, something is wrong. So first thing is to take stock. Be honest. Where are the dead places in your mind? Your heart? Your life?
Find them. And write them down.
#2 Decide to Do Something About It
You don’t have to shuck your job and your responsibilities. You do, however, have to decide to do something to bring passion back into your life by discovering (or rediscovering) the things that get you excited. Just deciding to DO something lifts the depression born of doing nothing and going nowhere interesting.
#3 Take time for some seriously down-to-Earth inner conversations with yourself.
If you already know that rebuilding vintage computers or playing guitar in a progressive heavy electro rock band in subterranean bars delights your heart, then jump to step four.
If you haven’t got a clue what would rekindle passion in your life, consider your current interests. Recall childhood dreams. It doesn’t matter if you can monetize it. It doesn’t matter if everybody else in the world will think you’re crazy for wanting to do it. And it doesn’t matter if it takes you a long time to get a handle on what “it” is. Most people get sidetracked from self-knowing. The point is: take time with yourself and find out.
You may discover that what you’re currently doing is truly your passion and you just didn’t know it.
# 4 Decide on reasonable actionable steps you can take.
It doesn’t matter if it’s going to take you 20 years to get there–wherever “there” is. That’s not the point. Deciding and doing is what counts. It’s the journey and all that. Really!
#5 GET GOING!
Maybe your first actionable step is discussing your decision with a partner. Make it a joint exercise. What lights them up? Decide to support each other’s endeavor. Get the kids involved. Remember, you’re the ones setting the example for living lives of boredom and sacrifice or vibrant fulfillment!